So, Em played drums for church on Sunday. No biggie, really. It seemed like cuts of video from her life passed in front of my eyes all day long.
It didn’t help that the day before when I registered everyone for school, the final document stated that I have two elementary students and one high school student. Which, in my head I vaguely understood since she’s taking two classes for high school credit as an eighth grader, but still… high school.
And it got me to thinking about all of those well-intentioned, blog posts I’ve read on the internet about mama’s living in the moment and treasuring events of life because you never know when it might be the last.
Frankly, that thought process is overwhelming and heartbreaking. I just can’t dive in and live fully if I feel like it is an ending. The effort is almost suffocating for me.
I decided I’m not gonna do it.
That’s right you heard me. Not. gonna.
With the beginning of school on our horizon and a whole year of adventure, I’ve realized – There is so much possibility, not because its the last, but because there are many firsts to enjoy!
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Mackenzie’s feet may be too big for the toddler sized shoe section now, but it sure was fun going shoe-shopping, letting her pick her own, and see her fabulous sense of style come out.
Isaac may be old enough to go to the barber with his grandaddy and get a “grown up” haircut, but it sure is a joy to see his big grin afterwards, and let him regale us with stories of the experience.
And Em may be ready to take a high school biology course, but oh how I know I’ll love watching her excel at something she loves so much!
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You know, when I think about my Heavenly Father, I’m reminded: He is a God who follows endings with beginnings. It isn’t the other way around. Jesus’ own death was followed by resurrection and LIFE. Hasn’t he promised to make all things new? He is not a God of living to die, but rather dying in order to begin living eternally!
I can live in the moment not because I’m dying or because everything is ending, but because there is the fullest of life to be lived!
It is understood that there are cycles of life, seasons that come and go – Some may be my favorite more than others. But, with every bend in the road, with every “last chance to…” there is a robust hope for more just around the corner. The hope of His goodness and his plan for my family, is so much greater than whatever stage is coming to a close.
With the first day of school coming inching closer on our calendar, I have made this promise to myself – I will mourn less when observing the “lasts” and gladly embrace the “firsts.”